Can someone please tell me where to turn. I hate the fact that shit I said eight years ago is still coming up. I was freaking twelve, what do you want me to do. I get it already, my family is fucked up and there is no way to even put the pieces back together. Sorry I’m trying to make things better for me in the long run. Pretty sure my daughter is going to think I’m a piece of shit when shes old enough to figure it out. My mom has no family, a mental illness, and wakes up screaming at night. I’m trying to find a way to make things right and nothing is working. I feel like nothing but a failure anymore and I just want to fix it.
Nesting mode in full swing already. Need to start earlier than most because well things can take up to three months to ship here. Lists made, registries done, some clothes bought, even prototypes done. The best part of this? My husbands daddy side coming out. If she moves and I say something hes right there. He was even trying to figure out where she was and put his ear against me to hear her heartbeat. Then tonight seeing him play with my friends baby just made me fall for him again.
Now to plan this trip to Greece and get more stuff for the house. I need to go out on a date, just the two of us soon.
On another note, I got a letter from my sister. A letter explaining her side of the story of what happened 7 years ago. I really just want all the bullshit to be over with and actually have a sister again. Now if my brother will turn around and realize. It was 7 years ago and the new generation is starting now. It would be nice when I visit to not have to split time between 4 different people just in my family.
This is going to be the longest night ever. I’m baby sitting for a friend that needed a night out. Her soon to be ex-husband came over to switch out the TV’s. as he was setting it up I had to put the baby to bed, he was refusing to lay down and kept trying to climb out. I finally got down stairs and I saw him on her laptop. I didn’t think anything of it considering he couldn’t get the sound to work, until he got up. Well now he knows and sent himself proof that she is sleeping with someone else who works with him. Where he now has the man’s phone number and address and she is currently over there without a phone. Being friends with both of them makes it hard to really pick a side and I don’t want to.
I have my own fears, goals, past, secrets, dreams, goals, and perspective. I have had several things in my life happen that not even those closest to me could ever understand. I have my own likes, dislikes, and preferences. I’m never one for standing out, just standing up, and reaching out.
I can’t fit into anything sexy I own. Dang belly.
Why must today be so weird/ normal.
- My dog going insane the entire day
- I dont feel fucking huge today (Yay for growing nonstop for three weeks)
- Husband didn’t come home for lunch and stayed late
- Told me he was leaving work in 10 minutes and 30 minutes later he showed up
-The Sims 3 keeps crashing on me
- No nap today
- Husband came home got his food and didnt touch it until after he watched everything on espn and wrestling
-Now hes yelling at his friend for not getting a rebound in his stupid ass game